Today I had a deep honest conversation with my best friend about life, careers, friendship and different visions. She told me she wants to disengage in anything career wise that I am going into and if I go into it, she is going to drop it. I think this is completely extreme and unreasonable. Because how can you just drop something when you are into it. And also I have a problem with it because I base friendship on conversation and feedback from common interests. It is hard for me to talk with someone who has almost nothing in common with me. Thus I fear this will damage our friendship if it already hasn't. I take great offense from that comment because I feel like its really me not interests because no matter what someone is going to have the same interests and same careers choice so why does it matter? In addition, most people want to make friends and associates with people into the sames things. Her and I share so many things, it is what makes us so close. Of course we go about it different ways. Such she is into abstract painting and writing on myth and folklore. I like anything in the arts right now I am focusing on drawing and the graphic arts specializing in fantasy. I am a double major in Art and Graphic Design, while she is a double major in Art and English. But she doesn't want to do Art because I am going to do Art. I'm like "what?" Who gives up what they are passionate about and want to do in life in a split second because their best friend is doing it. Even though we are majoring in one subject alike, we are embarking upon two different career paths really and would it be so bad to have the same career as your bestie?
Her thing is she wants a different experience in careers. So when I come her, I am on something different with a different outlook and its new and surprising to her. But I'm like if she isn't into, I'm not going to go talk to her about it. That just isn't me. I like to get into something when a person is passionate about it, I like to see why are they passion about it too. Or just see into their mind about their opinons on that subject. But they have to have been their have something with it, whether or not they hate it. This has a profound affect on me because I took so much offense to this and I can't see her way. It makes me not even want to talk to her about anything I'm into because my own opinion on the same subject affects the way she looks at things.
Why don't I just let it go and respect her wishes because why would I want her not to do something with her life when she loves to do it? And it really bothers me that she doesn't want to do something that I'm in. I want to know exactly why. Because it makes me feel so abandoned and attacked that she doesn't. She is extremely into myth and folklore and just to see what she was going to say, I lied and said that fantasy included myth and folklore in my mind and that I would be doing it too. While I love fantasy myth and folklore, I am actually not into it to write about folklore. I love reading on fairy tales but it isn't my cup of tea to retell stories. I like to make up and do mainly my own stuff, which is mostly fantasy. And bitterly she said fine, its yours, I'm proud and I'm like "Wow, that just really hurts." SIGH. I am not one to rant or vent personal issues to the internet but I needed someone to talk to and just to simply release and the one I usually talk to about it isn't answering her phone. So I came here, but ultimately I know I am going to have to talk it out with her, end up bitterly sitting right with it, coming to terms with her feelings or just reflecting on to go any further.
|From 2011-08-01 001|