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Aug. 19th, 2011

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Aug. 18th, 2011

A Lesson in the Vines that Twine

Today I had a deep honest conversation with my best friend about life, careers, friendship and different visions. She told me she wants to disengage in anything career wise that I am going into and if I go into it, she is going to drop it. I think this is completely extreme and unreasonable. Because how can you just drop something when you are into it. And also I have a problem with it because I base friendship on conversation and feedback from common interests. It is hard for me to talk with someone who has almost nothing in common with me. Thus I fear this will damage our friendship if it already hasn't. I take great offense from that comment because I feel like its really me not interests because no matter what someone is going to have the same interests and same careers choice so why does it matter? In addition, most people want to make friends and associates with people into the sames things. Her and I share so many things, it is what makes us so close. Of course we go about it different ways. Such she is into abstract painting and writing on myth and folklore. I like anything in the arts right now I am focusing on drawing and the graphic arts specializing in fantasy. I am a double major in Art and Graphic Design, while she is a double major in Art and English. But she doesn't want to do Art because I am going to do Art. I'm like "what?" Who gives up what they are passionate about and want to do in life in a split second because their best friend is doing it. Even though we are majoring in one subject alike, we are embarking upon two different career paths really and would it be so bad to have the same career as your bestie?
Her thing is she wants a different experience in careers. So when I come her, I am on something different with a different outlook and its new and surprising to her. But I'm like if she isn't into, I'm not going to go talk to her about it. That just isn't me. I like to get into something when a person is passionate about it, I like to see why are they passion about it too. Or just see into their mind about their opinons on that subject. But they have to have been their have something with it, whether or not they hate it. This has a profound affect on me because I took so much offense to this and I can't see her way. It makes me not even want to talk to her about anything I'm into because my own opinion on the same subject affects the way she looks at things.
Why don't I just let it go and respect her wishes because why would I want her not to do something with her life when she loves to do it? And it really bothers me that she doesn't want to do something that I'm in. I want to know exactly why. Because it makes me feel so abandoned and attacked that she doesn't. She is extremely into myth and folklore and just to see what she was going to say, I lied and said that fantasy included myth and folklore in my mind and that I would be doing it too. While I love fantasy myth and folklore, I am actually not into it to write about folklore. I love reading on fairy tales but it isn't my cup of tea to retell stories. I like to make up and do mainly my own stuff, which is mostly fantasy. And bitterly she said fine, its yours, I'm proud and I'm like "Wow, that just really hurts." SIGH. I am not one to rant or vent personal issues to the internet but I needed someone to talk to and just to simply release and the one I usually talk to about it isn't answering her phone. So I came here, but ultimately I know I am going to have to talk it out with her, end up bitterly sitting right with it, coming to terms with her feelings or just reflecting on to go any further.

Aug. 12th, 2011

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Aug. 11th, 2011

The Motherhood of Things of Nature and Magical

Hayden is becoming quite the young artist. I mean he is really attracted to it. We are painting and/or drawing everyday now. He love coming over to me and saying"Mom, let's paint." Or "painting, painting."
I love his zest for art and music, I see the bursting creativity in him already. The Boyles' house seems to be a house of creativity and art. My husband has a hand for drawing and as a child it was his favorite pasttime until adulthood. His hand at drawing was what attracted me to him. He studied painting in school for four years just never did it on his own time. And what haven't I done in the arts? I am such a renaissance woman my trek into the drawing area started with Final Fantasy characters. I loved video games (something else my husband and I bonded over) and out of the blue I decided to drew Princess Garnet from Final Fantasy 9 and did it so well I found out that I had a natural hand at drawing. I went to continue drawing whatever caught my fancy and later as I got better my own things mostly abstract stuff and portraits of fantasy people in my mind. I drew until Pregnancy. In Pregnancy, I watched many movies from my childhood that captured me, things that as a child and wanted to see and never did, read tons of books and played video games all day once my husband was home. I had to start in middle school so I think that I had to start drawing around 11-12 years ago. There was even a period in time when I drew dresses and outfits which didn't last long it just wasn't my cup of tea.
So when I became pregnant I never really doubted Hayden would be able to do something artistic, I only hoped he may like it. This summer at 2, I felt he was old enough to handle finger painting. I had wanted to do it last summer but he was still in his wild stage of just learning "no." I saw a blog post where this mom had her son was  finger painting and I simply thought it would be a fun thing to do that many toddlers love. It never clicked with me that he would be so naturally inclined to it. I mean, all I had to do was put out the colors and he just knew what to do- No instructions. Immediately he took to it. I didn't even have time to put all the paints out before he was dipping his fingers in and putting it to paper. He had never seen anyone finger paint and I was surprised because Hayden hates to be dirty if he spills something on him he needs to changed and cleaned immediately. If he steps in something the same thing. Now he has upgraded to brushes too
  But we have been drawing and coloring together for a while now. Ever since Hayden could hold a pencil, we have been drawing and coloring. I liked it because it was something we could do together and I wouldn't get bored. Tee-hee. We would sit at his desk and just color and draw on printer paper. For his birthday in May of this year, I listed an easel on his wishlist and his grandparents got him it. I was over the moon,I thought he would like it but you never can be too sure, we had been drawing at his table for so long. But as soon as he opened it all his other stuff went to the side and the entire party (which was at their house) we were bugged about opening it. Originally it was in my living room but one day (before I started his painting) I wanted to enjoy outside so I just put it out there. And from then on I'd put it out there letting him draw as he wanted and play outside while I was either doing a journal write or reading a book.




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From 2011-08-01 001

Aug. 8th, 2011

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In the Dreams of Romanticism and Surrealism

On Friday Hayden and I left to Long Beach, Ca, I have to  say it has been refreshing to settle down in some place other than home for a few days and the ability to concentrate without watching Hayden 24/7. Hayden in is the wonderful world of Grandparents when we visit Southern California my Mom really steps up and handles most things Hayden. Which gives me time to get a jump start on my writings. I have decided to go back in archives of unfinished/quick ideas of stories and pluck one out to finish. To start on my writings, I am digging back up everything in the faery and vampire realm, I originally wanted to read for one of my stories that I started in pregnancy of 2009. I should have notes from my previous venture on the books, I was going to read plus I am going to catch up on some teen fiction novels that have been released lately to top it. Many new things on vampire history, lore, and culture have flooded the market lately that wasn't available until after the Twilight craze and the sudden likings of vampires. So I will have lots to catch up on there.
I was lucky enough to have some notes on my external hard drive I had yanked from desktop, so here I could do some research and ordering of library books (I love, love LOVE the Fresno County Library) from Long Beach and have them waiting upon my return home. I love to research and discover so this is really going to be a great part of the writing process too, along with scribbling down everything that one day will become a finished product.  I only dread the revising process - definitely not fun. But what writer doesn't need sound revising and rewriting? Only the bad ones right?
Alas, we have to leave this day so updating will have to wait until we are settled in better at home and a swift visit to the library should be enough. I will probably be back here to update on books, art and writing.
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Aug. 4th, 2011

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Of Mystical Meadows and Flowing Still Waters

Overall in this new month of August of nature and boasting fruition, I am dedicating to creativity and parenting. I think the two have deep meanings. I want to work together, balancing my creative energies along side my parenting. Instead of one at a time, when parenting and motherhood is something that isn't going away, I need to embrace it with arms open wide. I am reading "Superbaby" by Jenn Berman. I love her patient, loving and gentle way of parenting, that treats a child as a equal not an object to be put here and here. I think her approach is exactly what I am looking for in raising Hayden. I love it. One of the best books on parenting I've read so far- And I've read alot. I just see Summer as a time for motherhood and nature at its fullest and a perfect time to soak it up. Plus August is harvest, so many things in nature at its ripest, just like my creativity at this point. I am putting lots of positive energy into creating.
I am getting back into the written word: blogging and writing after a long dry spell of creative energy. I was devoid of all juices flowing instead of being a gentle, quiet river coasting along green banks, I was slap down in the middle of the Nevada Desert. But I am back once again! I have found my delicious meadow complete with flowing gleaming waters and a cup to drinkth with when parched.
I will doing the task of writing two stories at the same time, yes, this makes me nervous but because I really get bored easy I think it fits my mind and temperament better to have two stories in the works at any given time, rather one because when I get stuck on one I have another to go to. And when I have writers block, I can go to a different medium that I am working on.
Alas, I am merging into the world of Graphic Art and drawing, specializing in fantasy and science fiction art. I am discovering so many talented people it is a little overwhelming, but I am going to deep in slowly. But I have found some really interesting artists Aly Fell, Melanie Delon, and John Howe. Aly Fell's work is cool I love his art of girls. He makes them very kick ass and tough, little pretty things you don't want to mess with kinda like bad faeries. Melanie Delon, though, I especially love, love, LOVE her stuff. Very artistic, visually striking perfect. John I really love too. He seems to have lots of things on medieval times, which just so happen to love. Linda Ravenscroft and I go way back with, I have her faery tarot deck and bought over five years ago, never buying another. I saw her name on a fairy drawing book and looked her up because her name seemed familiar and she was from my fairy deck: then I went on to write in my artist journal all the beautiful artist's names I'd just discovered  and she was already there! I know faith when I see it. She was recommended by another artist I had discovered weeks ago when looking up how to make notebooks.

Aug. 1st, 2011

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Jul. 24th, 2011

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